I’ve never really written anything for a long time… excuse me Tumblr… I forgot all about you for… almost 4 months? 

A lot has happened; Christmas, New year, birthdays, heavy snowfall… most especially, Teresa.

She came over here all the way from Vienna last February 13, Sunday. I never really knew what to expect from her arriving here other than her being pretty and smart. Waiting at the airport almost killed me with anxiety. When I finally saw her… I was stunned. I wanted to hug her, but I feels like I was just getting to know this person that I’ve been talking to for a couple of months now. I was uneasy at first, but I tried so hard not to be.

 It took a lot of getting used to and a lot of “Oh my god… is this real?” before I could finally understand that she was really here - In person and not some 8600 miles away. There are not enough words to express what I felt during her first days here with me. It was so surreal… just like a really vivid and tangible dream..

Summarizing, I’ve had lots of great, funny, crazy, wonderful, and happy memories with Teresa while she was here; I wish it could have lasted longer. She made me feel so high that when she had to go back… I felt so alone and desperate once again. Things were never really the same the days after she left.

Getting up in the morning was difficult as hell… finding a reason to get up on my feet and go do my daily routine, without her…, was not easy. 

When we would chat on Skype, like we used to before, it would feel so much different because I know what it feels to be with her in person - to be so close to her. Being limited to only looking at each other through a webcam, connected by a laggy internet, sometimes puts me down. It’s difficult having thousands of miles between us two, but I love her and I would hold on.

I just hope that I can readjust myself, my presence of mind, back to reality. I need to get back on track. For now, I’ll just write things again like I used to. I’ll just keep on writing and dreaming until I see her again.

Sometimes I think to myself… who am I? I have to ask this question because in the back of my mind I want to be the person that I am when I’m with you…

Lately my effectiveness in different matters have not really been what they use to. I’ve been slacking off from work that has to be done which, I can see, should stop. Midterms are here and I really need to get cracking. Needless to say, I should be more organized and goal oriented. I’ve been feeling that I’m just drifting off and zoning out… for reasons I know. So I guess the thing to be done is… do what needs to be done, after that relax… not relax, do a bit, relax again, and then not finish… (I really do have to type this down so I can read it to myself later XD)

I’ve been putting the ‘pro’ in procrastination… It’s a bit overdue, but I should really start putting ‘pro’ in productive. (what am I doing on tumblr then? )

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed 
he was walking along the beach with the LORD.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
footprints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of
his life there was only one set of footprints.

He also noticed that it happened at the very
lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he
questioned the LORD about it:

“LORD, you said that once I decided to follow
you, you’d walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don’t understand why when
I needed you most you would leave me.”

The LORD replied:

“My son, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you.”

http://llerrah.com/footprints.htm